One of my favorite quotes is, “Know Your Role and Play Your Position”. In most of our roles in life, we are given a clear description of what to do and what not to do. I’m held accountable for my job description from Monday-Friday from 8:00am to 4:30pm. If I don’t meet my requirements, I would end up in someone’s unemployment line.
But, what do you do when your roles are not crystal clear? What is my role as a girlfriend, fiancé or wife? Women are nurturers by nature. From day one, we are ready to put our best foot forward and give our all. We want to take care of our men!! If there is a problem, we want to fix it. That’s just how we’re wired. But, some of us end up doing things a little prematurely. We’re helping with financial problems, jumping in his family dilemmas, becoming Chef Boyardee, and providing sexual healing. We give our “all” and end up with a broken heart.
During the dating/courting process, you are in the “interview process”. It’s time to get to know each other which requires doing lots of activities and asking those important questions to determine if the relationship is worth pursuing. Prayer and observation are key during this process. What is God saying about this relationship? How does he react to certain situations? How do they treat me and others around them? How is their relationship with Christ? If you begin playing Susie Homemaker during this process, you may end up fixing something that you never should have been involved in. Is it a sin to cook your partner a meal? NO. But, it’s not your responsibility to serve up every meal and become their caretaker. When you get engaged, it involves preparing for more financial responsibilities and family commitments since marriage is your next step.
Think back on your past relationships that didn’t work. Some of your anger is towards your ex, but some of the blame is on yourself. For those who don’t want to take responsibility, let me air my dirty laundry. I had to take care of my boo!! I got all entangled in family stuff and rushed home to cook. I was out of place and eventually out of a relationship.
Stay connected with God first and let the Holy Spirit guide you! Take the time to enjoy the process of getting to know each other. Once you get married, you will have ALL of your life to play wife. It’s a beautiful process, but take advantage of your independence. Don’t put the cart before the horse. Embrace boundaries.
Final Tip: Seek God together for your relationship, enjoy each other’s company, and love outside of the bedroom.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?
Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.